Embarrassingly Bad Typos: A love story
by anythingiwant
Summary: We all have read them.  The fanfictions we KNOW are awful but we read anyways.  So here is a fanfiction with some of those horrific typos.  It's okay though- I know you will skim right past them. DRACO/HERMIONE
1. The overuse of the aN

_Draco/Hermione_

Chapter 1: The overuse of the Author's Note on the Hogwarts Express.

It was the last day of summer, for Hermione anyways. **(a/N Don't worry I'll explain that part later)** Hermione arrived at Platform 9 and ¾ with joy in her heart. She was finally going to meet her husband. Well, he wasn't her husband yet- but she knew that he would be. **(a/N: I know Hermione doesn't really think like this) **She placed her suitcases in the baggage compartment and ran straight to the Head Student's room. Today she was going to be sworn in as Head Girl **(a/N I know the head boys and girls don't get sworn in but I didn't know what else to right. Srry.)** and she would meet the Head Boy. Every year at Hogwarts new students are elected to these positions and they always end up getting married**. (a/N I know that doesn't really happen… but this a fanfiction so I am supposed to make stuff up write?)** Last year it was Blaise Zabinni **(a/N Seriously how do you spell Zabinni? Zabini? Zaabini? It is just so tricky… it's like I've never read Harry Potter at all!) **and Ginny Weasley **(a/N Sorry guys. I needed to include another student and I don't like any other girls. I know they aren't in the same year and that Blaise shouldn't have graduated the year before Hermione. But I just love Ginny and Blaise fics!) **This year it would be herself and a mystery boy. Hermione hoped that it ouwld be Harry. He is so smart and perfect. **(a/N I know that Hermione doesn't really think that about Harry. But they wuld just make the perfect couple if things were different. Check out my page I think I'll right a fic about them next). **As** (a/N: Are you allowed to use "as" at the start of a sentence?) **she **(a/N: I'm referring to Hermione)** approached **(a/N: it means got closer to)** the **(a/N: I hope you'll review!)** door **(a/N: Is it called a door? I mean it's on a train so maybe it needs a special name? PM me if you know)** of **(a/N: I just love prepositions)** the **(a/N: I'm not sure where this fic is going… any ideas?)** room** (a/N: I mean COMPARTMENT. Oops)** her **(a/N: Again, I'm referring to Hermione)** excitement **(a/N: It's not sexual or anything) **grew** (a/N: STILL NOT SEXUAL) **and **(a/N Yay. a conjunction!)** grew** (a/N: That is TOTALLY that's what she said!)**! **(a/N: She is so excited I used an exclamation mark! I'm excited too!)**

**(a/N: I know their our a lot of these. But I just have so much to say! I can't possible let my story speak for itself. I rather put myself down so you don't want to kep reading)**

Hermione opened the door of the Head Compartment and her heart dropped. You would note believe who she saw! It was her worst nightmare. Someone she knew she would NEVER marry. Someone you couldn't pay her to marry. Someone she would NEVER even want to TOUCH. Someone she wouldn't want to share a dormitory with. Someone she wouldn't want to talk to. Someone she wouldn't want to breath the same air as. Someone she would NEVER want to kiss. Someone she would like to punch in the face again. Someone she would like to poison. Someone she would like to NEVER see AGAIN. Someone she would like to push into the whomping willow. Someone she would like to push off the Hogwarts Express. Someone she would like to push off a tall building. Someone she would like to push off a cliff into the waiting arms of a dragon. Someone she would like to push off a table and then kick. Someone she would like to push off an elephant.

I digress.

That someone was Draco Malfoy.

Someone she thought she'd never have to see again.

**(a/N: What did you THINK. Review plssszz.)**


	2. The case of missing capitalization

Chapter 2: the case of the missing capitalization in the head compartment

hermione didn't even want to go in anymore. she could not believe that hogwarts would let draco back into the school LET ALONE give draco the head boy position. it was after the war so peace was upon them but that did not mean it was safe enough to let a MALFOY back into hogwarts. draco had switched sides during the war and helped dumbledore by being a snitch (a/N haha quidditch) for our side. he became friends with ron and neville and dated ginny for a little while. he washed all of the griffyndors laundry and even hung them in their closes. draco stopped picking on people and started writing everyone nice messages. he even single handedly defeated voldemort. but that did not mean she was ready to forgive him. harry could have done all of that.

as hermione stepped over the threshold of the doorway draco and her eyes met. suddenly hermione knew things could be different. she could forgive him and let draco into her heart. draco had changed she could see it in the way he was sitting. he looked more older, more mature, and inifinitely more handsome. he even stopped slicking back his hair. maybe she could marry him afterall.


	3. When POV gets out of control

Chapter 3: When POV switches so many times the characters get confused outside the castle

Hermione's POV

We rode the train together in silence. I was awestruck with his glorious appearance and could not bring myself to speak.

Draco's POV

Hermione wouldn't talk to me the whole train ride. That bitch.

Hermione's POV

I finally got up the courage to say something to him when we got off the train.

Draco's POV

We stepped off the train and I decided I wouldn't talk to her for the whole year if she was going to be so mean.

Hermione's POV

I tried to speak to Draco but he looked the other way. I was crushed. I was crushed beyond belief. I could not-

Draco's POV

Hermione looks like she is about to cry. Shit! McGonagall is going to blame me. I better say-

Hermione's POV

Draco is looking at me! Draco is looking at-

Draco's POV

Oh she looks better now. Maybe I don't have to say anything. Although-

Hermione's POV

Why isn't he saying anything. I don't understand why he hates me. Maybe it's because I was such a jerk after the war ended. I did make him do a lot of laundry. Maybe I should do his –

Draco's POV

She looks scary. I wish she wasn't head girl. Too bad Ginny graduated early. I would love to do some crazy-

Hermione's POV

Maybe I should just say something. Maybe-

Draco's POV

I'm cold. This is getting silly. We have been standing here for ten minutes. I'm saying something. Who cares what she thin-

Hermione's POV

"DRACO! I love you!" Wow. Did I just say that outloud?

Draco's POV

Did she just say that outloud?

Hermion's POV

"I love you so much. I want to have your babies! Even if they're snakes! Please Draco, can't you see how much you mean to me?"

Draco's POV

"You're right Hermione! I LOVE YOU TOO!" Wow. She is beautiful isn't she. I am so glad we are in love now.

Hermione's POV

Did he really just say that? "Did you really just say that?"

Draco's POV

I swept Hermione into my arms and whispered into her ear: "I did just say that my love." My lips closed over hers and my tongue begged for entrance. It always seems to be doing that.

Hermione's POV

Wow. This is nothing like kissing Crookshanks. I wish I had practiced more with Ron. Then Draco would want my body more.

Draco's POV

Wow. She really sucks at kissing. Ew, and she tastes like cat hair.

Hermione's POV

Maybe I should stick my tongue in his mouth.

Draco's POV

I hope she doesn't stick her tongue in my mouth. I might barf. Keep it closed. "Keep it closed." Shit. Did I say that outloud?

Hermione's POV

"Keep what closed Draco?"

Draco's POV

"Um… I hope that McGonagall keeps her window closed. I wouldn't want her to look out and see us snogging. (a/N my first use of a BRITISH word!)

Hermione's POV

"Oh. I guess we better head back to the castle, love. McGonagall has a lot to tell us about our new positions."

Draco's POV

Dirty. Sex advice from a professor.


	4. A short chapter on spelling

Chapter 4: When spell check is disabled in Professor McGonagall's Office

Draco and Hermione reched Proffessor's Mcgonagal''s ofice and nocked on the dor.

Darco and Hermione wlaked instide and sat down. Professor Mecongal starrted to tell them about their new jobs as ehad boy and grl. Thre was a lot of boring stuf they wuld be responsable fore.

Then she started to tel the m about all the fun stuf they got ot do before the castle opened. You see draco and Hermione had goten their early so they could work bfore the other studentss arived. What Draco and Herionmine didn't knwo is taht they would be working on hteir replationship not on head duites.

Professor M. told them they woulld spned the week builinding up oconfidnece in each other so they culd get a long during the smemster. Draco and Hermione would gett to partake in itneresting challenges everyday that invovled getting to know echac otehrs mind and boddy.

a/N: Damn. That was painful. Let's cut that chapter short. Don't worry, I have another chapter that is almost ready to go. I want to add a few more homophones before I put it up.


	5. Homophones

a/N: I found a long list of homophones (words that sound the same but are spelled differently). Hopefully I can use a lot of them! Also, I appreciate everyone's feedback. This chapter is especially for the people who requested a "they, their, and they're" lesson.

p.s. Breath and breathe are not homophones but I have a lot of trouble spelling them correctly. So in case you all are confused too: A person breathes in and out and what comes out is breath. (and yes, maybe I did put this here just because I got confused halfway through the chapter… )

**Chapter 5: Homophones in the Head Dormitory**

******_A chapter where repetition gets out of hand_**

Draco and Hermione left McGonagall's office feeling shocked yet excited. They wood get to spend a whole weak getting to no each other. This wood either bee a gift oar a curse.

They got to the threshold of they're knew home. On the door was a portrait of a couple embracing and giggling, witch was much moor then Draco Malfoy could stand. "Uggh. That is disgusting. Ew." Draco said.

"Draco, its not disgusting, its love. Love is beautiful and I am happy to share a home with this couple. Gosh." Hermione chided.

"Uggh. Do not expect to be cuddling like that with me, Hermione. Ew." Draco said.

"Draco! I cannot believe yew. Wee have been together for less then 24 hours and you already can't stand me. Gosh." Hermione chided.

"Uggh. Girls are just so sensitive. What is it you're time of month or something? Ew." Draco said.

"Draco, you are such a jerk. I can't believe I thought I was in love with you. I clearly was mistaken. I hope this week is over with soon. Gosh." Hermione chided, glaring at Draco.

"Uggh. Aisle love it when this week is over. Hermione you take everything two seriously. I knead to go to bed. Oh god. Look at the portrait now… their making out. Ew." Draco said.

Hermione glared at Draco one more time and cleared her throat two get the lovebirds attention. She gave them the password and started to enter the chambers. Before she new what was happening, Draco picked her up bridle-style and carted her threw the doorway. He than dropped her ungraciously on her but.

"Goodnight, Hermione." Draco said.

"Buy, Draco." Hermione responded.

Morning reached the Head Dormitories before Hermione was ready for it. She had spent the night tossing and turning, thinking about Draco and they're fight. Hermione was hoping Draco had forgotten about the argument and that everything could go back to normal. Realistically, she new that wood never bee the case. If she ax nice he is mean, if she ax hot he cold. It's a freaking Katy Perry song. To ad to her worries about Draco, Hermione also had Head Girl duties to think about. If only she wasn't so responsible all the time. Draco was starting to make her lose her patients.

Draco two hated the sunshine. It made his pail skin burn and made him read as a beat. Besides, this situation with Hermione made him feel uncomfortable. It was downwright bazaar. The first six years of school were fine. Draco would see Hermione and tease her. She had funny looking hair and was a good subject for all his muggle-born jokes. Now when he saw her, he felt something different. To put it simply: She took his breath away. And tell me, how are you supposed to breathe with no heir.

Draco stumbled out of his dormitory and into the kitchen of the small apartment. Hermione was all ready sitting at the table staring at a slip of paper. Her mouth was wide open and she was shaking her head back and forth saying "No, no, no, no, NO. Not with him. No, no, NO. I can't. I won't."

Draco grabbed the parchment from her hands and started smirking. Morning didn't seam so bad after all.


End file.
